The plight of an unrecognized genius is not a merry one. No, dear readers, it is a forlorn journey of hope followed by despair again and again; in vain, in vain and again. Sigh*
Well, enough about me. What's all this latest fashion about not wearing undies ? Paris does it, Britney does it. Don't they know that undies are the world's most reliable form of contraception?
Actually I wish people would stop picking on Britney. After all, she's old, washed up and kinda ugly now: one of us! Poor girl. (Leave 'em on, Brits.)
I was considering becoming a member of the paparazzi the other day because I am going to be getting a new mobile phone/camera - 1.3mega pixels no less! So I thought that if I could just manage to be in the right place at the right time I might make mega bucks. Of course I would be highly-good at it and super- talented because I know what the public wants. I have my finger on the pulse! Who cares about getting the first shots of Tom Cruise's baby or Nicole Kidman's sometime pregnant bump.. no! That's really ho hum and boring. But if I could get a shot of Britney Spears' stretch marks now THAT would be something all women everywhere would re-mortgage their homes to see!!! Poor old Britneigh, ,,,,,,,
Spying runs in my family you see. My Mum spied on the neighbours for years in every house that we ever lived in, and she taught me everything she knew. E-V-E-R-T-H-I-N-G. I have finely attuned ears; I have almost 20/20 vision; I have venetian blinds!! And do you know what? My cousin is a spy. She is! She really, really is! It's supposed to be pretty hush hush, but she works for A.S.I.O which stands for "Australian Secret Intelligence Or (something)". We are meant to tell people who ask that she works "in the public service", so don't spread it around, OK? I kind of feel like Inspector Gadget and that she is my niece, except that she is my cousin.
How do they know that the Brit-pack are not wearing undies, anyway? Do they have telescopic octupus-arms with binocular attachments at the end? Yowzers! Maybe they take a certain kind of forensic swab off their seats. Ew.
Well, all I can say is that standards have slipped. Along with the undies. Both at the same time, in fact. Now when are pantaloons going to come back in fashion? Bring back bloomers is what I say. Give Nicole Ritchie a normal silhouette!
And please, someone, stop Britney from taking up pole-dancing.
Genius.
Well, enough about me. What's all this latest fashion about not wearing undies ? Paris does it, Britney does it. Don't they know that undies are the world's most reliable form of contraception?
Actually I wish people would stop picking on Britney. After all, she's old, washed up and kinda ugly now: one of us! Poor girl. (Leave 'em on, Brits.)
I was considering becoming a member of the paparazzi the other day because I am going to be getting a new mobile phone/camera - 1.3mega pixels no less! So I thought that if I could just manage to be in the right place at the right time I might make mega bucks. Of course I would be highly-good at it and super- talented because I know what the public wants. I have my finger on the pulse! Who cares about getting the first shots of Tom Cruise's baby or Nicole Kidman's sometime pregnant bump.. no! That's really ho hum and boring. But if I could get a shot of Britney Spears' stretch marks now THAT would be something all women everywhere would re-mortgage their homes to see!!! Poor old Britneigh, ,,,,,,,
Spying runs in my family you see. My Mum spied on the neighbours for years in every house that we ever lived in, and she taught me everything she knew. E-V-E-R-T-H-I-N-G. I have finely attuned ears; I have almost 20/20 vision; I have venetian blinds!! And do you know what? My cousin is a spy. She is! She really, really is! It's supposed to be pretty hush hush, but she works for A.S.I.O which stands for "Australian Secret Intelligence Or (something)". We are meant to tell people who ask that she works "in the public service", so don't spread it around, OK? I kind of feel like Inspector Gadget and that she is my niece, except that she is my cousin.
How do they know that the Brit-pack are not wearing undies, anyway? Do they have telescopic octupus-arms with binocular attachments at the end? Yowzers! Maybe they take a certain kind of forensic swab off their seats. Ew.
Well, all I can say is that standards have slipped. Along with the undies. Both at the same time, in fact. Now when are pantaloons going to come back in fashion? Bring back bloomers is what I say. Give Nicole Ritchie a normal silhouette!
And please, someone, stop Britney from taking up pole-dancing.
Genius.
Labels: Britney Spears, Inspector Gadget, me the super-genius, Nicole Kidman, Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, pole dancing, Tom Cruise
posted by anonymous jones @ 11:03 AM
6 Comments:
Preach it, Sista'! I say we all pitch in and buy them a mega pack of granny panties since the poor things are too destitute to buy their own...I mean really, now that Brit has 2 kids to feed and her dear husband has taken a hike, it's the least we can do for her.
Amen sister!
I felt bad for Brittney ... really, because she thought K-fed was a good catch.
It's not nice to take advantage of a simpleton ... I don't know which one I'm referring to...
Hi ! I found your blog through Farm Wife's blog and having read your profile feel I should obey you and say Hi !! Your writing made me laugh, even though I am a Pom. S
Good luck with the spying thing. I'd like to see those stretch marks.
Let's go Jones! I want to see those stretch marks!! I think you'd give the people what they want, and you could earn a little side money.
I wonder if all those new Brittney barbie dolls are going to be recalled by the manufacturer so they can shave their heads.
Poor Brit. I think the divorce is making her crazy. I went crazy for awhile after mine. But I bought a car and took off. I didn't shave my head. I might have thought about it though.
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