Yay for parsnips!
Yay for beetroots!
Yay for swedes.! No. Not yay for swedes, boos big boos for swedes.
But yay for all the other ugly, mysterious veges that lurk in the corners of the supermarkets that SOMEONE (probably highly anonymous) must buy. Invade the personal trolley space of all the shoppers you pass and see if I'm not right. You won't find anyone with one of these Pariahs Of The Vegetable World in their trolley or any check-out-chick who can name them without asking the only attractive and intelligent customer who does happen to want to purchase them what they are. Sigh, the looks one gets.
Yes, dear readers, yet again I am to be found at the forefront of the avant garde, leading the way this time on the outskirts of the aisles in a daring vegetable revivalist movement. Stand and deliver! It's kind of like the New Romantics of the 1980s, but more thrilling because I have finally ditched my parasol and am now showing my ankles. ( I bet Adam Ant ate his nan's smelly old-fashioned veges, and I bet, while they weren't combing their hair, the guys from Spandau Ballet countered the negativism of Brit-punk nihilism by shelling broad beans for their mums.)
It's actually a very controversial field of study is vegetable history. There is such academic discord on what is theoretically the oldest vegetable known to man. Now don't begin to obsess over this yourself: it has driven many mad. Of course,the popular trivia answer is the pea (tsk tsk botanically a fruit) and there is no reason for this other than the word "pea" in a room full of bingo-going quiz-night tragics who have had one too many plastic cups of tepid lemon barley cordial, will guarantee a full house of giggles.
I have also read someone suggest Bristle cone pines - but that is just weird and also waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much fibre.
So the boffins MOSTLY narrow it down to lettuce, onions, garlic and potatoes.Clearly, they are not trying hard enough and need more funding.
Newest vege? Obviously the answer would be a genetically modified frankenfood, but there are so many of them, who can keep up to date? The scientists create them for fun, just to see if they can, and, well, why not? They've probably all run out of lemon barley cordial and besides, they've poached all the funding from the serious research so they've got to do something with it! Here's my current favourite:
It's a lemato.