anonymous jones

Dedicated to the nicheless and the nameless ... fringe-dwellers of the madding crowd (does that sound pretentious enough?..)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

What do you do when you have a pimple or boil up your nose? Oh, dear readers, how I suffered from this dilemma during the holidays!!! Have Kristin Kreuk or Mischa Barton ever had spots UP their noses?? I suppose I could try snorting Clearasil or giving myself Neutrogena nasal-enemas ... THERE IS NOTHING ON THE MARKET!!!!! This is apparently one of those forgotten ailments for which Roche or Pfizer or Reckitt Benckiser just do not see any future in developing remedies. Understandable. How could you do an ad for it? Send a nose-cam up Cate Blanchett or someone??! AAgh!! ("I'm ready for my close-up, Mr De Mille!") And who would want to be the face of nasal feruncles? Hmm, maybe Paris Hilton ..?

The inside of a nose is just not an attractive place; it's not; even with a Doris Day lens and studio lighting. And 'problems' are so hard to see up there! My bathroom mirror is all blurred and fogged up (and a little textured) from trying! And even when I squash my nose flat against it and kind of slide down to create a sort of pig-snout effect, even then it's hard because I need to juggle a second mirror at weird angles and have the light just right!
Of course you can do it all by feel. Ahem.

Not that anything is any use, of course, because there is not much that can be done anyway. Oh - well, if you are prepared to cry a lot you can try tweezers to pop the thing (feels like a home-made frontal lobotomy: don't do it) or you can go for the softer option and joust with a couple of cotton buds (if your nostrils are accomodating enough)( >>> Well, you may as well just stick chopsticks up your nose if you want to try that!). .. Toothpicks? OOoo! My eyes are watering just thinking about it! What a nose-hair plucking bad idea!

Yes. How I have suffered. But despair not! I think I eventually solved it by pinching my nose really hard: at least I think that was it. Something ricocheted up and into the back of my throat then anyhow .. .

Welcome to 2007!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


This is not a photo;
or a pipe.