Aircraft Carrier

Picture of the aircraft carrier awarded to Little Johnny for being such a good boy by not plunging a stake into the heart of the new kid before recess.

Ingrates! Bloody little ingrates! All children are revolting , snivelling, disgusting little ingrates!

I blame the baby boomers.

Yes. it was them who started it. ME ME ME! "I don't want to conform", "I don't want to eat meat", "I don't want to wear your capitalist patriarchal bra of suppression" .. BLOODY BABY BOOMERS IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT THAT THE REST OF US HAVE TURNED OUT LIKE WE HAVE AND SO I AM GOING TO BLAME THEM FOR MY UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN!

Do you know who else is to blame? (NO, NOT ME.)

The teachers.

Yes, dear readers, how much evil in the world have they been responsible for? Just look at fractions.

Because teachers can't use any of the good ol' tried and tested methods of crowd control anymore, and because bloodshed is generally nowadays frowned upon, they have resorted to the soft measure: bribery.

It's true, isn't it? Here's a quote from Little Pig No. 2: "We are only good for relief teachers who give us good stuff".

Now, you'd think the odious little worms would be HAPPY with a nice big tick in red pen on their work, wouldn't you? Nope! And these days it has gone beyond the munificence of a gold star sticker and a 'well done' stamp, too! First, the teachers began with free pencils and erasers. Then, it was a 'lucky dip' with cheap nick nacks as the prize. Now we are getting into the realm of treasure boxes with stationery sets and glitter gel pens; there are trophies for Star of the Day; Chupa Chups; Mars Bars; a trip to McDonalds or the cinema for the best kids; and - whoa Nelly, this beats them all - at one of our old schools they even gave away four bikes to the two most well-behaved girls and two for the boys!!!

Hence the parents' dilemma. HOW CAN WE TOP THAT? And the pressure is well and truly on, dear readers, for us to do so - yes? Where will this reward mentality insanity stop?!

Here is the attitude of the current midget generation of miscreants when presented with any task, big or small: "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME ?".

Won't they get a lovely shock when they enter the workforce?...........................The only 'Snickers' they will be getting will be from me, and not the chocolate variety, either!