There were three things my Dad would never talk about in company: politics, religion and cards.
Good ol' Dad: that's probably sage advice, especially if you know how to play Strip- Jack- Naked. But the politics thing I never understood. Why, exactly, would anyone want to discuss politics anyway - EVER? I imagine it would compare with trying to explain the socio-economically significant plot of The OC to an Octogenarian while they are trying to get you hooked on fifty years of Coronation Street in between mouthfuls of watery porridge. YUM!
It's weird: politics seems to fascinate many strange and unnatural people. Maybe it attracts only certain types .. .(Just surf the blogosphere and witness how many IMPEACH BUSH NOW blogs are out there! Grillions of 'em!! )Snooooooooooooore.
Oh, I saw this great T shirt yesterday that said "Don't Panic! I'm Islamic!" They're a bunch of funsters aren't they!?!
Anyway, back to the politics thing. I've never really tackled the subject so far (except my insightful piece on the Danish cartoons, from a cartoonist's point of view)(archives) which is pretty boring anyway because it's about politics. BUT there is hope for politics being interesting! And it all lies with the eyebrows.
Does the leader of your country have great eyebrows?
Now you've heard of power dressing, I'm sure, but have you ever considered POWER EYEBROWS? It doesn't matter if you are a diminutive, shrimpy, little dweeb of a despot (like John Howard our illustrious P.M.) (just joking Johnny, we all love you and every single one of us will vote for you at the next election!) No! Size does not matter because if you have astounding awe-inspiring Eyebrows of Magnificence then YOU WILL COMMAND RESPECT!
True. I guess it's like ants with the biggest antennas or the lions with the bushiest manes, peacocks etc etc.
And Australia has a wealth of eyebrow examples to lead the world. Sir Robert Menzies, for instance. One of the brat pack of famous historical pollies. Did he have a face under those Muppet brows? They kind of floated and waved around in the breeze. They were white but fluorescent pink or turquoise would have looked good, too. Sometimes I wish I was a man so that when I get old I could have eyebrows like that and plait them and hang beads off the end! Sadly, it is a man's world.
THis is the reason, dear readers, why there are very very few top-level women politicians. Curse those tweezers!
Hmm, but there is hope for Brooke Shields ..
So there you go. Another mystery of the universe and of our cute little planet solved again by me. Thanks, me!
posted by anonymous jones @ 10:41 AM
5 Comments:
Hi Anonymous! It's been awhile, I know, but I have FINALLY put some new posts up!
And I'm sure to make you angry, because one post is ON POLITICS! NOOOOOOOOO!
Unfortunately, I'm beginning to get more into politics (I still do not consider myself well-informed, though), in fact, I have gone so far off the deep-end of the political spectrum that I am nothing less than a tin foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist! But at least I'm aware of it. :P
Sorry that I've been slacking on the blogosphere, but I'm glad to see that your posts are as amusing as ever! Perhaps if I got off of my lazy arse (is that how the word is spelled in Australia?) and left comments on others' blogs more often, my own blog would be more active and I would thus be more compelled to update it. But that does not mean that I do not appreciate your comments; I appreciate them greatly, and they really made me feel good! But the place does need to liven up a bit!
Oh, and yeah, when I wake up every morning, I say a quiet prayer of thanks for my manhood. And it is for no other reason than my eyebrows. Seriously.
Where's the nearest shrink? I have eyebrow envy.
Long time no see! Glad you're back. Eyebrows? Mine are too fine and not long enough, but I have no point of view on our president's.
Good luck with your hearing today.. Between blue and red, I'd go with blue.
So Jones. Just out of curiosity, how did you find my blog? Do we have a mutual friend we share, or just a random quirk of fate you came upon mine own turf of the WWW?
And eyebrows. I think GW Bush keeps his trimmed. Does that make him half a man? If so, HA HA HA HA HA I'm laughing my ass off. I worked for my State Senator this past session in Washington State, and loved it, so I guess that makes me one of those freakos who enjoy politics! I went to the Presidential Gala in D.C. though and did not like it--I saw big government politics and it bugged the hell out of me so bad I vowed to never get involved that high up. Schmansy fancy bull shit is what it was, and you had to pay $1,000 for a plate of food, thieving bastards. :P (except I didn't have to pay that much because I had an "insider" deal ;).
Maybe I'll just take over the world myself and then feel justified to charge my devotees $1,000 for a damn plate of Nascar-themed food (indeed, it was!) because, well, "I can do what I want!"
But I got to wear a beautiful dress. That made it all better. And the dessert! Oh my gosh! It was fantastic.
Excellent point! I never thought about "power brows" before but it makes as much sense as anything else.
Perhaps you'll start a trend of fake brows! You could get rich. I can see the infomerical now
"Ready to rule the world? Tired of being everyone elses doormat? Send $$$ now to get you very own Power brows!"
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