Football season has started - and I just had to gulp back a bit a vomit then.

Of course, to certain people in Australia, and especially in Victoria, footy is a RELIGION. How's this for vomitous: Recently the captain of the West Coast Eagles got in trouble for ditching his car and girlfriend when he came across a Booze Bus ( a van of cops with breathalizers) and did a runner!! They have to apprehend you in the car, and so this loophole lets you escape if you have been drink-driving. Big man, hey?

Anyway, there was a huge public stink about it and he had to step down as the captain of the team and one of his mates became head moron instead. Now get this: At the press conference the new captain declared,

"He is still our Spiritual Leader !"

The mind boggles. And I don't even have the luxury of observing how stupid men are because certain women (though less in number) join the mindless hordes of supporters, too! I think they see it as a good way to get male attention and approval.

Of course it happens everywhere. Just look at the lunatic soccer tribes overseas. Football is the only 'valid' time that a lot of men feel they can get emotional and even hug each other. Germaine Greer, famous feminist, even went further to observe that footy is "homosexual horse-play". Now, I don't know if I'd go that far, but they do get a bit touchy-feely, don't they?! And I have noticed how they jump at the chance to dress up as women for charity fundraisers and pantomines ...

By the way, I was watching Smallville last night and Clark was doing his bit in the grid iron football team. What's with those funny little pantaloons they wear?!!!!!! Do they think all that shoulder padding lessens the wussy effect that the breeches give them? (They even wear them in baseball, too, don't they?) Funny little trousers! Funny little country. No one in their right mind would want to be known as a jock here, because it is vernacular for underpants!

Dear, oh dear.

The whole world is weird, but me.