I couldn't believe my LUCK when I found a little maggot in my chocolate!!!

NOW WAS THE TIME TO TEST THE URBAN MYTH! (You know, the one we first heard at primary school ..) I was about to get showered with crates and crates of replacement chocolate coming down from the sky on their own little parachutes! So I rang the manufacturers, and waited.

Hoo hoo! You can't imagine the delight of that in itself. The marvellous anticipation! The day dreams, the night dreams, the inbetween dreams!!

Of course, I HAD SUFFERED FOR IT. Indeed, it HAD BEEN a rather harrowing experience to open my 250g block of hazel nut chocolate to find it all covered with cobwebs. And after I had finished eating that one, to have my emotional disquiet further compounded by discovering that my second bar of 250g hazel nut chocolate had the same little weevilly-looking cobwebs BUT in the corner a tiny weeny little cocoon with occupant, as well!

Now I have standards. And I have a definite rule, in a given amount of light, about a certain distance in centimetres that I have to maintain between what I eat and any obvious infestation. SO I ONLY GOT TO EAT TWO ROWS!!!!! I was fuelled by outrage (and a coma-inducing blood sugar leavel). Oh, but so lucky!!!

Sadly, 'twas all for nought. The day did come when I received my replacement chocolate with apology letter. And as I tugged the wee little parcel out of the letterbox I feebly whimpered tearily, in a small small voice,
"..But where is my legendarily huge box chockers full of chocky?
Where is my large shipping container?
And where oh where is my own personal OOMPA LOOMPA???????............................."

Still, console yourselves, dear readers, with this observation: I have but exhausted only one avenue in the chocolate-makers' street directory. So, perhaps it will be you and not me to be the lucky ones who find the golden maggot.
Let not the dream die!