I'VE JUST SPENT TWO HOURS AT THE SHOPS WITH A BOGEY STUCK TO MY NOSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet, it was a shapely, elegant one, dear readers, kind of slender and fashionable oh if only it had not been a bogey !!!!

Alas! - it was.

Now, don't go thinking I've descended even further into the depths of feral-ness. I haven't. And I will have you know that I am VERY PICKY about nose appearance! Why, many a time I will inspect my nostrils in the mirror, before going out, to see if there is anything of note up there. I will lift my chin slightly as I pass shop windows. I'll even give my nifty Batman clip-on torch light to Instant Jim so he can have a look when we are in the car, and he is driving, in heavy traffic, at night, during severe weather.

Luckily, it wasn't a dangle-bogey. It was sultry and figure hugging, (the kind you might see on Super-models in BOGUE). And luckily it wasn't what we like to call a "nose oyster", either. In fact, it could have been a lot worse now I come to think of it. Maybe all those gawking shop asssistants thought it was a makeup statement? Or a new organic-shaped body piercing?

This is not the first time I have had a mucus-related incident at the shops. Shall I tell you about 'that' time, or not? Hmmm. OK. Sigh* Who else but me would be willing to PROSTRATE THEMSELF EVEN FURTHER ON THE ALTAR OF EMBARRASSMENT?

'Twas on a dark and stormy night, or at least on a Saturday morning at Woolworths, after I had fled the maze of towering and menacing aisles that I approached the evil, blinking red lights. Trembling, I unloaded my trolley at the check-out with pale hands and a suppressed scream in my breast. Brooding, black eyes piercingly haunted me as, with a sweaty finger, I punched in my PIN number.

"Do you have 'Fly Buys'?" demanded the secret black and midnight hag behind the till.

What was I to say? Dare I utter a word in that cavern of strange merchandise?? And then, amid my hurried and hyperventilating reply, IT happened!


KER PLUNK !!!

From the depths of my nostril, a bogey so hard, so heavy and dense that it must have been its own equivalent in size/weight to dark matter, hit the deck of the counter WITH THAT EXACT SAME NOISE ............. ker plunk!!!!!!!!

'Snot funny!!

If I had a digital camera I would have posted a picture. Bogies are so hot right now!