I was in need of a dastardly plan. A plan so conniving, so sneaky, so scintillatingly brilliant that I WOULD REIGN TRIUMPHANT OVER MY KIDS!

And then it hit me. ROAD-KILL! I utter an evil laugh.

You see, something awful is about to happen. Something terrifying and tortuous. Yes. All the mums know what I am referring to. I must bring myself to write it ... it's ..it's
school holidays.

THE HORROR, THE HORROR !

But this time, this time I HAVE A PLAN! (utter evil laugh again). Now, they think it's going to be two weeks to do whatever they like. They think I am going to entertain them. They think I am going to spend ridiculous amounts of money trying to entice them out of their boredom and into interesting and fun activities. HA! They have another think coming, don't they?!

You see, the Three Little Pigs (or the three little TROLLS, as they were this morning) don't like anything. Not sport, not games outside, not reading (though they are all good at it), not this not that blah blah blah blah blah. So, I WILL MAKE THEM LIKE IT!!!!!! ha ha ha harrr!!
And how, oh devastatingly brilliant me, will I do that?? Simple!
BY MAKING THEM HATE EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!!!

Thus, the road-kill enters my Perfect Plan. (And I invite you all to use it freely. I like to generously dispense my wisdom..) All I need to do is to think of job after job, after chore after drudgery, after anything within the limits, or open to interpretation, of the child labour laws for them to do! That's how the inspiration struck me this morning - when I saw this guy on the highway, picking up a dead kangaroo. ( I never knew there was a road-kill man! But what a good idea for a business "YOU MOW 'EM, WE THROW 'EM!").

Anyway, what more a memorable holiday activity!? There's plenty to go around for everyone. And it requires only a few things we already own; a shovel (tick!), wheelbarrow (tick!) spatulas ...(tick! tick!) plus it is even educational. (Just imagine the hours of compulsory Mum-fun in species identication, labelling former anatomies, or we could invent a new game called 'Grisly Jigsaws'!)

OH, THE CLEVERNESS OF ME (again) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Super Nanny, eat your heart out!