PIZZA!!! My vegetarian, thin crust, light-cheese pizza is CALLING ME from the fridge! I've had this problem before, only with chocolate and cake. The trouble is, I am having what my Mum used to term, one of my CAMEL DAYS; except I think my camel day has been going on for a week. She used to say 'camel day' because, as a kid, I would hardly eat anything for ages and then all of a sudden eat everything in sight! I never stored it anywhere, though, I'm not a hump-back. Or a hunch-back.

I have tried fighting it. I have had almonds. I have had more almonds. I have had corners off a slice of wholemeal bread plastered with coconut oil butter. I've had green tea, linseed meal, wheatgerm, yoghurt, soya milk, psyllium husks and sunflower seeds all this morning and it is only 10.50 am!. I've run out of dates. Don't fancy prunes. Then I fell. Not proud to admit it but, yes, I did scrape out the dregs of the kids' peanut butter jar and eat that on a spoon while I was logging in. OH MISERY!!

Every now and then I stand up and kind of wander about aimlessly, have another almond and sit down. I've got it pretty bad!

Temptation. The T-junction of temptation is where I am, dear readers. To the right is the RIGHT way, of course. To the left is the way to the fridge. And once I start eating like a pig, or a CAMEL, I won't be able to stop! After the pizza it will be something sweet that I'll be hunting. Then something else, then something else, then the dog's food will start to look appetizing, then the DOG will look appetizing....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

How do those Survivor contestants do it? Well, apart from the fact that they have no choice? In Australia we currently have an Australian celebrity Survivor on, which is pretty woeful and BORING because none of them are even slightly psychotic or deranged (they should have imported at least one American contestant!) Anyway, one of the men, the strategic cook, made dinner for everyone out of hermit crabs which he pulled out of their shells and mashed up into a kind of paste which he then cooked.

I could do that. Prince Poppet and Spidercrab are clunking away over there in their deluxe crabitat (periodically we go to the beach and collect different seaweeds and seawater which then get frozen for them - so they have a nice catered-lifestyle, plus the tank is heated). But they don't exactly earn their keep in any way. Hmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM.

"Here crabby crabby crabby!"

Nah! Only joking.

EXIT STAGE LEFT.