Floccinaucinihilipilification has changed my world. Up until two nights ago I was one of those simpletons who thought antidisestablishmentarianism was the longest word (not including medical humdingers) in the English language. (No one counts supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, not even the Queen and it is her language.) But I think Her Majesty would use floccinaucinihilipilification quite happily since it was invented by a swotty Eton College student. While reading his Latin textbook, and wanting to avenge himself on this dead language, he noticed four words meaning 'nothing' that he could connect (and show himself up as a smarty pants all at the same time). (Incidentally, my cousin is a Latin master and has taught at swotty English colleges and I don't know why I wanted to mention that other than the swottiness is catching..) Anyway, since the Queen is in charge of the language, she must have to test-drive all new words; floccinaucinihilipilification dates from around 1741, so it is before Her Mag's time, but this is the reason why any words Americans invent will never be real English. For example, she is unlikely to ever say, "Yo, butler-dude, fetch One some poached quail and a Pepsi or One shall diss you to your home-boys." However, it is very reasonable that all Australianisms would be embraced in the Royal household, e.g., "Oh bugger off, Charles".

If you google floccinaucinihilipilification for an image, you come up with quite a lot of photos. Here is one. Now, the definition of floccinaucinihilipilification basically is: the act of assessing something as worthless. YOU MAY BE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW! But don't ever tell anyone that you are floccinaucinihilipilificating because they may take a few steps back from you, or tell you that you'll go blind.

So why has it taken so long for this word to reach my ears? This has disturbed me and kept me awake for two nights! Of course, this would immensely please that snickering, smarmy little Eton College student who invented it: that his snooty word took over two hundred years to reach The Colonies (guffaw guffaw!) Why, even Instant Jim (He of the Massive Planet-Sized Brain) did not know it and heard it from one of his year three pupils! - Could it be because we live near the most isolated capital city in the world? Well, that is a good excuse. But you know, we are not a cultural desert here. Anna Pavlova, the famous Russian ballerina, visited in the 1920s!

Here is the pavlova, our cultural dessert, that we invented in honour of her. See the resemblance? Yes, it was invented right here in Perth at the Esplanade Hotel. (Beware New Zealanders who try and lay claim to it. They are just jealous because all they have contributed to the world is sheep and hobbits).

Ah floccinaucinihilipilification I love you! I dedicate my blog to you. In a world of lots and lots of really really important stuff you are a shining beacon of something to us all! You define yourself. And the Queen leads us by example. Long live floccinaucinihilipilification!