HEADLINE - SUPERMAN DITCHES U.S CITIZENSHIP !
The American Way is not enough anymore, claims Man of Steel !


Have you heard the kerfuffle over Superman's plan to renounce his citizenship in issue #900? Despite the unlikelihood that The-Most-Famous-Illegal-Alien-Of-All-Time-Who-Never-Went-Through-Immigration could do that anyway, this is BIG NEWS. Yes, apparently the population of the United States has taken it to heart and knickers are in knots all over the country.

Well, what's it all about? 

Supes is tired, it seems, of being politicized internationally by war-mongers.

So who can blame him? 

He's had nearly 80 years of this kind of thing (though some may unkindly suggest that he's a bit of a dim himbo who ought to have expected it after parading around in Super-snug red undies and blue reeeeeeeeeeeeally tight tights for so long). 


You don't agree? Then try this experiment at home: pack a suitcase of said undies and tights for yourself and hop on a plane for the Middle East, spend a week there in costume and see just what lovely apolitical and neutral sentiments you inspire. 


Time for a makeover, then, with his new Citizen Of The World status. I know! Get Trinny and Susannah on to him!   They'll bundle those sagging pecs into a good push-up man-bra! He needs a bowtie, too, methinks. They're cool. And the old slogan (er .. you know the one)is a bit , well, embarassing, especially post Wikileaks.  


Suggestions?
  
What's a good motto for the new, revamped, international Superman?


 Hmm ... Truth Will Out?  


Oh no - that's taken.
;-)

Well, it is kind of funny that Norway’s entrant in the Eurovision Song Contest is singing in Swahili.    "Haba Haba".  And is from Nigeria.  

Well .. good on her, I say!

 

Still funny, though.

 

Ahh, but that’s the wacky beauty of this song Olympics!  And from a non-European point of view the quaintness of this continent which is so ..well  foreign, is the curiosity factor that makes us tune in and watch it. It's like a nature documentary, in a way.  In fact, I bet Sir David Attenborough is probably in front of his telly right now, too, (in his blue shirt).  Yep, there he is, with a tartan blanket over his knee, cup of  steaming Horlicks, slippers and spaniel next to him as he tries to comb his hair into a vertical Eurovision-do while observing the complicated singing rituals of 43 countries and wishing he could pickle them for the British Museum.

And what fun!  This year it’s held in Germany!  No-one more fun than the Germans.  Those funsters!  And their hosts are not appalling at all. And their funnily pretend-offensive jokes only SOUND like they get horrified gasps from the international audience, but that’s the collective snort of oxygen replenishment by thousands of people as they inhale for another  hearty ha ha ha! ( You’ve got to be careful when you do that not to snort saliva up your nasopharynx and  into your sinuses because then it hurts and that’s no fun.)

Hot tips to win:  Hmm it’s a tough one this year.  Early on I thought it  might be a Battle Between Hair Extensions which look AWESOME with a wind machine  (and a person in a bird outfit).  Hmm .. I dunno ... ...  swarthy rapping Greeks in puffy shirts are hard to beat.  Plus they have killer Sith Lord dance moves. Opa!  And France’s video looks good, like the ten tenors except he's just one. The twins will be a big fad. (Newsflash!  The German comedienne hostess - who may or may not have had her teeth filed into sharp points, it’s hard to tell on a 12 inch screen from 18 feet away in the dark – has announced that Greece are finalists.) Yay!  And the Irish are, too!  Double yay!!

I just love the amplified ethnicity , the strobing bad taste, the microcosm of strange English sentences.  It's a snow globe of  Euro oddities that if you shook it up and down would clog the air-con and all airways for weeks, perhaps months, with glitter from the costuming.  But who will win?  Meh ...who really cares? 

Know any good Swahili jokes?