To me, the sign of a good Shakespearean actor is that they spit and dribble a lot. You can always tell if you are watching an actor who is familiar with the Old Bard. Like Jean Luc Picard on Star Trek. And Snape on Harry Potter . Sure, there are a few wannabes, like Mel Gibson .. but he is just not believable UNTIL HE DROOLS.

I'm so dead jealous today because two of the Little Pigs are going to see a production of MacBeth. Now, I studied this at school myself and let me tell you there is plenty of saliva action in this one! I even saw a modern 'version' of it back then called "Boys' Own MacBeth" which was a musical and had some great lyrics like "Out damn Spot! Get out damn Spot! Lady Macbeth would say .. but he'd just roll on his back and wee at the moon, passing the time of day! Now there's Spot on the ceiling, Spot on the floors, Spot's on her hands they say .. How could she know that young Spot would explode - and leave his mark on the castle that day!" It was pretty highbrow. But, you know, that's an elite private girls' school education for you.

My friends and I were really into MacBeth. We would practise sinister plotting at school. We spoke in couplets. WE EVEN WORE TIGHTS, which was the only part of our uniform we liked. "When shall we three meet again, in thunder, lightning or in rain?" Unfortunately it was usually at the bus stop, baking in the hot sun in a school blazer. I remember how I used to come home and greet my poor mother with "How now thou secret black and midnight hag?" And she'd say "Good, dear".
Ahh yes, it was tragic!

Leonardo di Caprio was pretty good as Romeo, don't you think? There was no dribbling by him in the movie but I'm pretty sure he'd probably cough up something on film for art's sake.

Another sign of a Shakespearean actor is the measured silence contained within and between each sentence and how every word and syllable is caressed and properly enunciated and inflected with an actor's joy; imbued with drama - - like when Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny did the balcony scene (I can see who Clare Danes ripped off now).

Yep, it's the pinnacle of their craft and a pleasure to watch when performed by someone with skill. Expectorate a standing ovation. I hope the Little Pigs have fun and don't sit in the front row.
(I think my dog must be an old Shakespearean actor. And there seems to be a whole troupe of them at the nursing home that I'm off to this afternoon. Hmm, and I seem to have enormous luck in always visiting the same dentist as these talented people... . Culture, dear readers, just seems to follow me around. )
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Anon!