My car is a moving ecosystem. So how does that figure into its carbon footprint? Pretty well obliterates it, I should imagine, considering it is giving a home to so much flora and fauna. When the guy at the auto shop asks me what sort of car do I have, I answer "a white one" just so I can listen to the sound of him rolling his eyes. Things like that amuse a trophy wife, like myself.
Dream on, Paris.



But now, apart from being a habitat on wheels, it is also what I choose to think of as a practitioner of "automotive vogueing". Like this morning: all the kids hopped in the car only to discover that the fabric on the ceiling had rearranged itself in artistic drapes and swoops. Very chic. Very now. It also has an interpretive windscreen wiper blade that dabbles in experimental music. And the back door exercises some American ammendment (because it is a Ford) as to whether or not it will open for me. I blame Abraham Lincoln.





I must admit, this can be somewhat testing, especially if I have to chock up roof upholstery with torn bits of empty Jols boxes five minutes before the school bell rings. What I need to do, though, is to embrace Fabio (that is my car's name) for all his little idiosyncrasies and celebrate his creative output! This sentient being is doing what he can to find within himself his own uniqueness - and who am I to stand in his way? I have it easy! I didn't begin life on a mass-produced assembly line! All those poor little cars forced to conform whether they want to or not .. that's what I call communism. And I blame that dictator, Henry Ford.


Notice the beady eyes.


So live and let live. Live redback spider in the wing mirror! Live soft green moss in the windows! Live mosquitoes in the cabin! Live understorey creatures in the broken airconditioning vents! Live small reptiles in the wheel arches! Live Ninjas in the backseat! Live foraging wilderbeast! (I might have forgotten a few others but they are encouraged to keep living, too.)





Until petrol hits $3 a litre when we will have to progress to one of those horse and cart contraptions.