VOLDEMORT LIVES !!!


Next door to me, actually.


And she owns a shitzu and has had a sex change somewhere along the way.

Now, it's alright for bloody Harry Potter who can take off hunting horcruxes and hallows and whatnot .. yeah! (So could I if I had a flipping house elf to cook me steak and kidney pie whenever I clicked my fingers! ) (Thanks a lot, Potter, for fobbing your dark lord off onto me - what am I ? The local villain dumping ground??) But not everyone has a fancy shmancy wand of legend and magic powers (though Instant Jim can summon a pretty good patrHOMERus in the form of a d'oh!).

Still, I have hope that old moldy Voldy is about to move on since a for sale sign went up in front of her house. Maybe one day soon I will get to have a garden where petrol isn't thrown over it to kill the plants, or salt dumped on shrubs, or my children threatened with broken arms and offered "sweets", or holes drilled into trees and filled with poison, where a chain saw is not taken to things she doesn't like, or my dog injured while I am out ... ?.
Oh! Happy day, when that sign went up!

I didn't think anything short of death could prise her out of that house. But, despite her ancient years, basilisk looks and hog warts, she's recently got married.

Go figure.

Some things are just stranger than fiction.