Poor Teddy, what have I done to you?!

Spider-Bat-Boy entrusted me to fix up his rather darkened with drool and dirt teddy bear and I have gone and totally STUFFED IT UP. Though, considering what I have done, stuffing would have been a lot easier to deal with! As it is I had the job of sewing up the holes in the bear where his wheat grains (it is one of those heat 'em up microwave teddies) were falling out.

Yeah, well I did that BUT THEN decided he needed a wash.
Now I know what you are thinking and yes, in retrospect I am thinking that too BUT at the time I seemed to remember someone telling me I could do it because the wheat had been especially treated etc etc blah blah. Oh, and I decided he should soak in the washing machine for a couple of hours too!!!! Luckily, I did not spin him dry because of the dodgy stitching so he is still intact, but he did come out of the machine with a considerably wider girth, all bloated and swollen which has tested his repairs anyway!

So how do I get him dry? He has been in the dryer SIX TIMES for ninety minutes each time on HOT, I've done the towel thing, I've done the microwave thing (made him damper) and now he's just lying there on a rack in the lounge room. Interesting aroma.

Anyone who walks in kind of sniffs the air. Not that his owner minds, but he's a boy and so smells are a plus to him. The girls do that look with the raised eyebrows at me. Currently Teddy is smelling like wet socks crossed with a wet dog and a tray of rather delicious hot scones in the oven. Instant Jime came home from work last night and said Ted smelt like "old person" and then went on to elaborate in a most age-ist way, "old person, in a raincoat, inside a bus in summer, on a vinyl seat".

"What are you going to do for an encore?" he said, " ...Clean your bass with a brillo pad?"

Oh you may mock and scoff now, my dear, but just wait until I come up with the most scathingly brilliant solution which will yet again demonstrate my genius! You know, I didn't go to university for nothing (I done grajitated). Just hope I can think of something before Teddy starts to sprout from his crotch and armpits.